Collection of Mario Short Stories
by mario fan
Summary: I promise you will LOL. Everybody so far has said they're great. Indulge yourselves with a wild ride. WHY DOTH THE KOOPA IS NOW UP!
1. Luigi Imposter

1 Mario Short Story 1: Luigi Imposter  
  
  
  
Bowser stood on the brink of insanity, getting ready to jump off his castle battlements after losing to Mario yet another time. He had attacked with a large goomba force, but the stupid goombas were led right into a mushroom trap that Mario had set up. Bowser was especially mad because he had lost even though Luigi had been on vacation. "That was the final straw Kamek," Bowser said to his calm advisor. "I'm tired of losing."  
  
Kamek really hated to see his master like this, even though it was the fifth time it had happened that week. Kamek always came up with some kind of plan that eventually failed, and then the whole "I'm going to jump" thing ran its course again. This time Kamek was ready for the ordeal. He had come up with a plan that even he thought had a chance of beating Mario. "Sir, wait! I have a plan."  
  
Bowser stepped down, "A little later than usual, Kamek. I might have accidentally fallen off." He wiped his head dry.  
  
Kamek rolled his eyes. "This time I think it might work. You know how Luigi's gone?"  
  
Bowser nodded, "Yeah, so? We still can't beat him."  
  
Kamek shook his head, "We can summon my magikoopa friend, Changling. He can change into Luigi and destroy the Mushroom Kingdom Castle with the new super bomb-omb I've invented. It's quite concealable."  
  
Bowser jumped up in excitement, "Excellent. Implement this plan immediately."  
  
  
  
Mario sat with Peach in the castle's dining room hall. "I sure do miss Luigi. He always cooked so I wouldn't have to come to the Mushroom Kingdom every morning," he said as he twirled a strand of spaghetti on his fork.  
  
Peach leaned across, "I'm sure he wouldn't want you to be lonely. Besides, you like eating with me, don't you?"  
  
Mario looked up, "Sure I do. You're a great cook. I just miss Luigi I guess."  
  
Before Peach could respond, the spitting image of Luigi came bursting through the door. "Mario, itsa me!"  
  
The two brothers, if they were brothers, hugged warmly. "What are ya' doing back so soon, brother. Was your Mushroom flight canceled?"  
  
Changling waved away the question. "No, I just missed my dear old brother, er…Max."  
  
Mario looked puzzled. "I…I mean Mario. I was just kidding you."  
  
Mario laughed, but Peach suspected something. She discussed it with Toad after the two plumbers went back to their house. "He didn't act right. I think something's up."  
  
Toad nodded, "Yeah. Luigi's been looking forward to that vacation for weeks. And he paid a pretty penny for that flight."  
  
Peach nodded, "Keep an eye on him. I don't want anything to happen at the Mushroom Banquet today.  
  
  
  
Bowser watched Kamek's crystal ball over his shoulder. "Are you sure he can handle the job?"  
  
Kamek sighed, "Yes, Sir. Please try to relax."  
  
Bowser sat on his throne, still nervous.  
  
  
  
Changling tried to strike up a conversation with Mario. "So…uh…Mario, yeah. Um…has Bowser attacked any…hehheh."  
  
Mario shook his head, "Nothing that I couldn't take care of. Bowser's basically a big coward."  
  
"How dare you…um…good job." Changling corrected himself.  
  
Mario nodded, "Well, I'm going out for a walk. You probably need some rest." With that, Mario went out."  
  
  
  
Toad reached Mario's house an hour after talking with Peach. He stepped up to the door and walked in, knowing that Mario wouldn't mind. "Helloooo." He saw a magikoopa preparing a bomb-omb. "I knew it. You tricked us, Changling. You vile…"  
  
"That wasn't very nice." Changling put him under a sleeping spell and met Mario outside. They walked to the Mushroom Banquet together.  
  
  
  
The Mushroom Banquet was in full swing. Peach stood up, wondering where Toad was. She was also keeping an eye on Mario and what seemed to be Luigi. "My dear friends…" She stopped when she saw Toad enter the room. "Wait a minute good people." She stepped out in a hallway to talk with him.  
  
  
  
"Luigi's an imposter. It's Changling."  
  
Peach nodded, "Don't worry. I've got it under control."  
  
  
  
Inside, Peach continued, "I would like to honor Mario and Luigi." They stepped up, acting surprised. "To Mario I will give this." She handed him a Mid-Mushroom. "To Changling…" Changling's face went white. "I give this." She whacked him over the head with a pan concealed in her pink dress. The magikoopa changed back to his real form.  
  
Mario said, "Well, I guess I'll deliver this to Bowser."  
  
  
  
A koopa troopa crashed into Bowser's throne room, surprising Kamek and Bowser. "Sir, guess what. Mario delivered Changling to us. He charged us for unpaid shipping too. I paid him. I didn't want us to be in debt. Aren't you proud of me?"  
  
Bowser was furious. "You idiot." The loud roar scared the koopa away. "Kamek, I'm going to jump off the battlements. You know what to do."  
  
Kamek bowed his head, "Yes, Sir. I do." 


	2. Cross-Dressing Koopa

Cross-Dressing Koopa  
  
  
  
Bowser listened angrily to a briefing by one of his koopa troopas. "Eh…Sir. It seems that even though we fought very bravely, we have lost. They recognized us as koopas and we didn't get the ticket you wished for to the Mushroom Ball."  
  
Bowser leaned down to him. "You good-for-nothing idiots! All I wanted was a ticket. Those mushroom people are prejudice, that's what it is."  
  
Kamek stepped forward, "May I make a suggestion, Sire."  
  
Bowser rolled his eyes. "I have a feeling you're going to do just that even if I say no."  
  
Kamek ignored him, "Maybe we could employ Changling's help."  
  
Bowser's turned around, "That goof. He's worthless. He failed last time."  
  
Kamek brought up a finger, "Ah, but this time you'll be on the mission. He'll turn you into a lovely princess and…"  
  
Bowser screamed, "What in the fungus! I'm too brawny and handsome to be a princess. Even he couldn't make me a dainty little princess."  
  
Kamek sighed, and gave the nearby Changling a hand motion. In the blink of an eye Bowser was turned into a duplicate of Peach, except for a velvety black dress and shiny black hair. Kamek gasped.  
  
Bowser giggled with his new voice. "What an excellent job. I'm soooo pretty." He twirled around. "And looky here. It's velvet. Mario will be head-over-heels when he meets me. The unknowing fool will fall into my trap." Bowser noticed the gasping Kamek. "You idiot. Stop staring. We've got to make it to the ball."  
  
The briefing guard stepped into the room again, laying his eyes on Bowser. He took his hand and kissed it. "And who is this. Might you go out with me."  
  
Bowser knocked him over the head, sending him flying through a wall. "Idiot. It's me." He spotted Kamek. "I'll need a mushroom slave. Changling, you know what to do."  
  
Kamek screamed, "No, Sire. Please!"  
  
  
  
Mario was still lonely, since Luigi was gone. He sat in his pipe house, desperately wishing for someone to talk to. Then, he heard people coming down the road.  
  
  
  
Bowser turned to Kamek. "This dress is too tight. How does the Princess stand this thing?" He spotted Kamek with his silly mushroom head. "Ha! Let me see that hat." With a loud RIP!, it came off.  
  
"OWWWWW! That wasn't a hat."  
  
Bowser giggled, "Ooops. Sorry. We'll tape it back on."  
  
  
  
Mario gazed in wonder as a darker version of Peach and a mushroom with tape around his head stepped in. "Well, I'm Princess…uh…Bowrina from far away. My slave and I have come to participate in your Mushroom Ball." He threw his hand on his head. "Sadly, I haven't a dancing partner."  
  
Mario smiled, "I'm sure Peach wouldn't mind if I took you." Mario took his hands.  
  
"Watch where your putting those hands, you slimy little…OWW! I mean, how nice of you." Kamek had kicked him in the knees.  
  
Mario looked at the clock. "Well, let's get going."  
  
Everyone was at the party. People from Moleville, Nimbus Land, and all over enjoyed the festivities. Kamek wasn't though. A rather large female mushroom scooped him up in her big arms. "Well, sweety. Your gonna' dance with me."  
  
Kamek squeaked as the larger mushroom smothered him in kisses, "Help!"  
  
  
  
Bowser was dancing with Mario. "My, you are an exquisite dancer. Ow! You clumsy oaf. That was my toe. I mean, Hehheh."  
  
Mario liked the weird princess, but he longed to dance with Peach, who was talking with some moles. Suddenly, the music turned into a faster song. Everybody started to rock.  
  
Kamek's partner swung him around her like a fan blade. "Please, somebody. Help!"  
  
Bowser, during all the commotion, knew it was time to kill Mario. He brought out a knife. "Now, it's over…"  
  
Kamek's partner accidentally let go, and Kamek flew into Bowser, knocking them both out the second-story window and into a fire blazing below. Screams were heard as the strange pair dashed northward. Peach calmed everything down. "Not to worry. Everyone, continue dancing." Mario and Peach danced the night away.  
  
Back at the castle, Kamek and Bowser, now back to their true selves, treated their burns with water and aloe. "Eeew, I hate Mario."  
  
Suddenly, a goomba rushed in. "Guess what. Changling changed me into a large female mushroom and I won a first place ribbon. My partner ran away though with some strange women. Aren't you proud of me?"  
  
The poor goomba was chased through the castle, with a fire-breathing Bowser and a wand-zapping Kamek close behind him. 


	3. Gourmet de Koopa

Gourmet de Koopa  
  
Kamek ducked out of the way as another flaming splatter of food landed where he had just been. Since Bowser had ordered a new cooking video off of the Internet, every day's lesson had become increasingly dangerous. "Ahhh, pretty soon the entire castle will praise my gourmet cooking."  
  
Finally, Kamek missed a dodge. A food splatter, flaming hot, landed right on his hood. "Yeouch!" Kamek fell to the ground patting his head furiously with his hands. "Do you have to throw most of the ingredients at me, Sir."  
  
Bowser turned to him while flinging food blindly. "Ya know, Kamek. You should have more respect for an artiste' in the making."  
  
Kamek was overjoyed when the last installment of the lesson tapes ended. "Oh, this means you're finished."  
  
Bowser swung around with the burning pan in his hand, belting poor Kamek. "Nope. Just means it's time to serve my delicious delight." He looked down at the twitching Kamek. "You idiot, get off the floor and ring the dinner bell."  
  
The dinner bell was ringing at the Mushroom Kingdom Castle too. It was the second Royal Banquet that year, the other one being a failure since Changling paid a visit. Peach stood up in front of the long dining room table, lavishly dressed with a magnificent teal tablecloth and colorful ornaments and silverware. All the mushrooms of the good town and several visitors, including Mario the famous plumber, sat down at the well-set table. "Good people, enjoy this meal. Let it remind us of the unity of our cities."  
  
Bowser laid out the selected dishes before his starving troops. They hadn't had anything to eat besides insects in the past week. Their tongues were literally hanging out. "Heh. Eat up." Bowser watched with glee as the monsters ate up his dishes, ones that were carefully placed on his pink tablecloth. "Isn't it beautiful, Kamek?"  
  
Kamek was still rubbing his sore head, "Yes, Sire."  
  
Bowser couldn't believe his eyes when everyone suddenly spit out the food. "Yuck! I'd rather eat bugs."  
  
"Awful! Who made this crap?"  
  
Bowser held back a tear as he roared, "You uncultured idiots. I made it. I'll have you all beheaded. And then I'll kill the lot of ya."  
  
The frightened eaters rushed out of the room.  
  
Later, Bowser was further angered when he watched a recording of the Mushroom Banquet. He watched it through a series of cameras he had set up in the castle. Peach had found them, but she left them up just to humor Bowser. "Look, everybody loves her food. She's even got a gorgeous teal tablecloth. It's so pretty."  
  
"Yeah, if only we could use food for evil."  
  
Bowser threw back his hands, knocking Kamek down. "That's it! We'll have Mario and Peach over. My food, which we will poison, will be the main course. Mwahahaha!"  
  
Kamek really didn't think it had to be poisoned.  
  
When Mario and Peach had gotten the letter they suspected something was up. Nevertheless, they came for a few laughs. Once inside, they saw that the reptilian reject had set up quite a nice table. Shiny pink bows and a pretty dress completed Bowser's ensemble. "Now, let's eat."  
  
Bowser fluttered over to Mario. "Here, my special dish." He wandered back to Kamek. "Watch this."  
  
Mario pushed it away. "Nah, I'm just thirsty. Do you want it?" He turned to a goomba guard. The eager guard chomped down.  
  
Bowser rushed over and threw the poor guard out a window before he showed signs of the poison. Bowser turned to Mario and giggled. "Heh, bad guard."  
  
Mario gulped as the goomba's scream diminished, "Yeah. I guess so."  
  
Bowser rushed over with four drinks on a silver tray, stupidly not noticing the antidote bracelet on their wrists. "Here."  
  
Mario smiled. "Ooooh. Watch this." He spun the tray on his finger, causing Bowser to lose track of the poisoned ones.  
  
"Give me that, you idiot." Mario quietly sat down, taking a drink. Peach did the same.  
  
Bowser and Kamek waited for them to drink. After nothing happened, Bowser ran over. "Switch drinks. You've got our favorite glasses."  
  
Bowser and Kamek giggled as they slowly sipped their poison drinks. The happy couple was the last thing Bowser saw before he and Kamek passed out.  
  
The next morning, a goomba walked in on the barely living pair. "It seems your dinner went great. Mario said he loved it. He especially liked the complimentary antidote pins I gave them. Aren't you proud of me?"  
  
Bowser and Kamek both yelled, "You idiot!"  
  
Fine 


	4. Why Doth The Koopa Sing

Why Doth The Koopa Sing?  
  
A searing bolt of lightning crackled through the sky and hit the tallest of towers on Koopa's Keep. Then, as fast as the lightning, it retreated back up into the clouds it came from, frightened by a sound more hideous and terrifying then its own.  
  
Bowser had just finished watching a series of videos that gave singing lessons that he had bought after throwing the cooking lessons (see Gourmet de Koopa) in a fire, accidentally slinging in Kamek in with them. "Do Fa La So," screeched Koopa.  
  
Kamek reeled in the corner, his eyes nothing but spirals.  
  
"Yes Kamek. I've finally found my talent. Look out the window. Tell me what yonder forest critters think of my heavenly voice."  
  
In the aftermath, Kamek looked out the window, seeing birds and squirrels, dead, littering the earthen floor. "You.you killed them," muttered Kamek.  
  
Bowser batted his eyelashes, "What? What do ye say?"  
  
Kamek gulped, "Um.there in heaven, Sire."  
  
Bowser giggled (still reeling from Cross-Dressing Koopa), "Ah, yes. How it does please me to see my beautiful voice oh so loved. Do you wish to hear again? Good."  
  
Kamek shouted, "For fungi's sake, NO!!!!" but it was far too late.  
  
Bowser peered over, "I will not disappoint my audience." He started to sing into a microphone that was hooked up to several prodigious speakers.  
  
Kamek screamed, "No!" The force of the blast shot poor Kamek out of the castle, the stonewall not bothering to stop him.  
  
Upon hearing the noise, Bowser rushed over and looked down. There was Kamek with two blocks on him. Around him were the other blocks, obviously the cause of the death of the animals in Bowser's head. "You idiot. Look what thy random feats of magic hath done to those there.I mean.. yonder critters. Get up here and listen to me practice for my recital later."  
  
Kamek shook his hands, "Sir, we need those troops.I mean sure. Coming right up."  
  
Mario was still alone at his house, awaiting Luigi's return (where is that freak anyway), when Toad came up to his house. The average passerby would have accidentally mistaken the annoying little mushroom for a bug and stepped on him, but after years of annoyance, Mario knew who he was. "What important, if not totally stupid, information do you bring me today."  
  
Toad stood with his tongue hanging out, drool dripping down his chin. "Duh, garsh. Where'd ya' get that purty overall."  
  
Mario kindly patted the unfortunate creature on the head. "Toad, I've worn this everyday since you've known me."  
  
Suddenly, the real Toad walked up to Mario, not surprised to see him talking to mushrooms again. "Mario, I'm over here."  
  
Mario jumped into the air, clapping his hands. "What are you doing here, Bubba."  
  
Prepared for such an occasion, Toad belted Mario with a hammer.  
  
Mario shook his bleeding head. "Thanks, Toad. What is it?"  
  
Toad shook his head. "It's another one of Peach's stupid, tax wasting, banquets. I swear, this is the fifth one this week. That last one about the mental enjoyment of peaches was just stupid. Don't you think so too?"  
  
Mario quickly dumped the peach he was petting in his hands. "Uh.yeah. Let's go."  
  
The two citizens walked towards Mushroom Kingdom, while Mario secretly missed the peach. Toad missed his too.  
  
There Bowser stood, in front of the entire castle's troops. "Now, ye underlings. Feast your ears on this." Kamek thought he could have made it to the door, but he wasn't sure enough. He, instead, jumped out of the window. Unfortunately, the blast of Bowser's singing caught Kamek in the behind quarters and blew him through the two closest trees before carrying him some twenty meters away from the castle.  
  
When he arrived, he saw Bowser in a corner crying. "Half the troops are dead. The other half ran away with mortal wounds, and Peach is going to have another successful banquet."  
  
Kamek tried to console him. "Yes, but she has them all the time. In fact, she had five this week that were crazy."  
  
Bowser held up a peach in his hand. He then threw it away. "Yeah. I thought so too."  
  
Kamek brought up his finger.  
  
"Kamek!"  
  
Kamek brought up another finger, "Sorry, Sir. Why don't you sing at Peach's banquet? You could ruin her fun and kill Mario."  
  
Bowser stood up, accidentally crushing Kamek beneath his weight. "Get out of there, Kamek. I've just had a wonderful idea."  
  
The 10000000000th annual/daily Mushroom banquet was about to take place. Peach, complete in her snazzy new biker outfit, accompanied Mario to the grandstand. "Citizens of Lemon Seed Valley." Peach whacked Mario over the head. "Sorry. Mushroom Kingdom. Thank you for coming, especially after partying the night away last night. Our first singer is Bowseron. He says he is not related to Bowser even though he looks like him"  
  
Bowser bravely stepped on to the grandstand after saying to Kamek. "I got a new set of tapes so I wouldn't be a total embarrassment."  
  
Kamek patted him on the back, accidentally gouging his hand. "Yeah. Good for you."  
  
As soon as Bowser started singing, the air was filled with splendor. It was beautiful. Even Kamek thought so. "Lord Bowser, you're supposed to sing badly."  
  
Bowser fought with Kamek, who was trying to take away his hidden synthesizer. In the struggle, they both fell into a huge pot of hot rock candy. The screams followed the pair all the way out of the castle.  
  
That evening, a goomba came in. "Bowser, did you like the synthesizer?"  
  
Kamek yelled, "You idiot. I told you not to give that to him. He's not smart enough to know what the real plan is."  
  
Bowser then yelled, "Both of you are idiots. Get over here."  
  
The goomba shivered, "Uh-oh. Boiling lava."  
  
Kamek said, "Fire breath?"  
  
Bowser grinned. "Nope. You both have to listen to me sing while eating my food. Bwahahahahahaha!"  
  
Fine 


End file.
